I have never been to such a meeting but I have heard the words often enough on different shows to at least know a few of its phrases. Recently though , I found myself looking it up. To my awe, it has a few more sentences to it that are equally weighty, endearing and calming.

So why was I looking this up? We are still in the first few months of the year, still setting up goals and resolutions. I wonder though if many of you reach a place where all of the things you want to achieve or want to happen suddenly feel not only overwhelming, but also unattainable. I was at his point when I decided to look up these words.

In my training as a medic, psychology was very appealing. I looked forward to classes because understanding how our nervous system processes thoughts was up there with exciting for me. One of the things I learnt was the need to down regulate the nervous system. This happens when one feels overly stimulated and treatment might mean regular medication, confinement or even a hug to calm down the firing neurons. In however “normal people “, who clinically are able to control their systems, not much guidance is given on what to do when you feel the overwhelm building up. And that’s how I found myself seeking calm and regulation. This could have gone either way; the famous self destructive numbing way, or the better way of: exercising, reading , resting, going for a walk, talking to a therapist way.

In my dire need to find what works for me, I, now find myself reciting this prayer while in triggering environments. Everyone has the shit that makes them waver but they have to be in it anyway. Mine, happens to be the gym or the classroom or any space that there is a ranking, which basically is everywhere if you think about it. So when I find myself struggling to lift a weight that is so easy for another female, I try not to on hate her and recite the lines. When I am not making progress with a back-pain patient, I try not to bash my clinical skills and recite the lines, and again I also do it when I feel “envious” of my agemates making it big in their spaces (yeah, right! Just pretend you don’t care when clapping for others as they achieve things beyond your control; like getting married, having kids or moving countries on a green card or just having more followers on tik tok). And funnily , sometimes it’s just being in the same lifetime as Beyoncé because uuuuummm what the heck is her existence !!!!

So , coping when the life keeps moving may look different for all of us and truthfully you might not always win at it. Sometimes you might need more help to regulate your neuronal pathways. The point however, is to generate tools that work for you. Acknowledge that this is an everyday job , it is a process and it is work. As for me though, whenever I need more grace to help me go through the day , for now I’ll turn to the serenity prayer and maybe a paragraph from the desiderata.

The serenity prayer (the version I use)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

Snippets of the desiderata.

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

As you were!